Who We Are

arrow PNG

If there is no widget placed, this text will display. It is located in "header.php", line 244. Use a widget to replace this default text. Widget headings are hidden.

Where We Are

arrow PNG

If there is no widget placed, this text will display. It is located in "header.php", line 261. Use a widget to replace this default text. Widget headings are hidden.

What We Do

arrow PNG

If there is no widget placed, this text will display. It is located in "header.php", line 278. Use a widget to replace this default text. Widget headings are hidden.

Our Mission

arrow PNG

If there is no widget placed, this text will display. It is located in "header.php", line 295 . Use a widget to replace this default text. Widget headings are hidden.

Helping Teens Manage Anger

Training to Help Teens Manage Anger And Resolve Conflicts Peacefully: P.E.A.C.E. Inc.
teaser image

5

June
2016

The Students’ Voice

This page is dedicated to students’ articles, comments, research and reactions.

 

The first voice to be heard is that of Kim Potter, a seventh grade student at Colonial Academy in Phoenix, Arizona. She is part of the Peers For Peace Club, who along with her fellow students and advisor, Jane Dawson, the school’s Guidance Counselor, are actively engaged in creating more peace in their school and community. This article is the result of research she has done on bullying.

 

We are looking forward to seeing more work in this area, as well as that dealing with other student concerns throughout the United States and the world.

 

Bullying by the Numbers: A Breakdown of Bullying Statistics and Facts

 

Bullying can come in many different forms. Sometimes, mean kids bother others on the playground, on the bus, or in the halls at school. You might run into a bully in the lunchroom or in a quiet corner of the library. Bullies also are mean to people online on social media sites, in email, and in text messages. But no one is allowed to bully others at any time or in any place. If you have a problem with a bully or you see someone else struggling with one, always tell an adult to get help. Teachers, parents, and other adults will step in to stop the abuse.

 

Bullying has become a problem for kids throughout the United States and even around the world. Bullying might involve making fun of someone, calling them names, threatening them, or spreading rumors. Bullying can also involve shoving, pushing, or tripping someone. Sometimes bullying happens by excluding a person from activities or by forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. Bullying might also involve destroying someone else’s property.

 

About one in every four kids at school has reported being bullied. Experts estimate that about one out of every seven kids in any of the school grades is either a bullying victim or a bully. Schools that have a big problem with bullying seem to have students that don’t perform as well. These schools may score as much as 6 percent lower academically than schools with less bullying. Only 36 percent of kids who have been bullied have reported it. This means that 64 percent of kids who struggled with a bully decided not to report it to an adult. In more than half of the bullying situations that happen between kids, if another kid steps in to help the one being bullied, the bully will stop. Boys are slightly more likely to bully others than girls. Usually, boys will be bullied only by other boys, but girls might be bullied by both girls and boys.

 

When someone is bullied, a lot of unpleasant things might happen. Kids who are bullied tend to have trouble with their schoolwork, and their grades might go down. Kids might also feel anxious and nervous, and sometimes, they have trouble sleeping. Sadness, loneliness, and depression are other effects of bullying. Sometimes it gets hard to stay involved with activities and interests, and kids might stop wanting to spend time with friends and family. All of these effects can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches.

 

Cyberbullying is another type of bullying. With this type of abuse, the bully will use electronics to threaten or bother someone else. Cyberbullying can happen on a computer or on mobile devices, and it might happen on websites, on chat forums, by email, or by text message. Sometimes a cyberbully will tease, call names, spread rumors, or share damaging pictures. Cyberbullying happens mostly with middle school and high school kids. Statistics vary, but as many as 52 percent of students could be victims of cyberbullying.

 

Awareness and prevention of bullying are two effective ways to fight back. Educating students about bullying, what it is, and how it hurts is one of the first steps to combat it. Kids also need to know that many times, they have the power to stop bullying. Staying silent about bullying will only make it worse. If a bully bothers you, you can do some things that might stop the bully. Stand up straight, look the bully in the eyes, and tell the bully to stop in a calm and clear voice. There may be times when you feel scared and unsafe. In these situations, walk away and get to a safer place right away. Find an adult right away to report what happened. Anytime you see someone bullying someone else, stick up for the victim. A lot of times, just stepping in to tell a bully to stop for someone else is enough to get the bully to go away.

 

Statistics

 

Facts About Bullying
Bullying: Fast Facts
Understanding Bullying(PDF)
Bullying Statistics(PDF)
Why Do Some Children Bully Others? Bullies and Their Victims(PDF)
Effects

 

Defining Bullying
How Does Bullying Affect Health and Well-Being?
Social Bullying(PDF)
Bullying Among Children and Youth
What Is a Bully?
Bullying for Students
What Is Bullying?
Why Do Kids Bully?
Cyberbullying

 

What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying Information
Cyberbullying Tips(PDF)
What Is Cyberbullying?
Stop Cyberbullying Before it Starts(PDF)
Prevention

How Can You Help?
Best Practices in Bullying Prevention and Intervention(PDF)
The 411 on Bullying(PDF)
Face Bullying With Confidence

13

April
2012

Peace: The Other Side of Anger illuminates the path for helping teens cope with frustration and anger. Building on authentic, “I’m listening to you” communication, Dave Wolffe shows the reader how to encourage young people to WANT to manage their anger, then he shows precisely how to accomplish it. Five stars, Dave!

–Dr. James Sutton, psychologist and host, The Changing Behavior Network.

4

March
2012

The peaceful route forum is broken up into two sections.

They are:

Dialogue

We encourage all our visitors to view the dialogue page and give their opinions to any of the topics that are being discussed on the site. If you have topics that you would like to see on the site please email us.


Book Reviews

If you are looking to see what other people have said about our book please check out the book reviews section for more information.

4

March
2012

Gets to the heart of the matter…Mr. Wolffe recognizes that parents and counselors, social workers and youth workers have to understand teenagers to best help them There are no shortcuts.

Jerry Wilde,
Ph.D., author, Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out: The Anger Management Book.

3

March
2012

For me reading Peace The Other Side of Anger, by Dave Wolffe was an enlightening and eye opening experience. From a parent’s perspective Wolffe, caused a mental and emotional shift in my soul that now enables me to work through interpersonal conflict with my teen daughter in a peaceful, calm, rational manner.

While reading the text, I was forced to face my own inner demons from my adolescent years. I found that Dave Wolffe’s methods work and can break communication barriers that otherwise would not be broken. Wolffe eloquently illustrates how feelings relate to anger, and walks the reader through thoughts and techniques to manage anger. What I found most insightful from Peace The Other Side of Anger, is the section called Information Boosters. In this section, Mr. Wolffe offers quick tips to identifying the top ten causes of anger in teens, keeping the peace with teens, the anger management short list, and adult anger managers.

I think that Peace The Other Side of Anger is filled with direction, compassion and emotional insight. Wolffe delivers words of wisdom that can help teachers, counselors, social workers and most importantly parents understand, analyze and improve their communication skills with young adults. In Peace The Other Side of Anger, Mr. Wolffe states “the point is not to argue about what you think is right or wrong about certain groups or preferences, but to find out why it is so special to them”. We live in a time when anger and violence run rampant among our youth, and is often times the emotion and behavior our teens exhibit first in moments of despair and conflict. I feel that if we pin point what teens feel passionate about we can defuse disputes in a young adults life. Wolffe offers readers peaceful methods to utilize and share with our youth, and these techniques demonstrate that serenity in your life is possible.

17

April
2011

Hi –
I have been reading your book and love it. I would love to use your book as an addition to our current anger management program for teens/parents.
Carol

Dr. Carol Cater, Co-founder & CEO
Sunshine Prevention Center for Youth & Families

17

April
2011

Dear Dave,

I didn’t write immediately because I wanted to get to go through it and learn from all of the “teachable moments”.  It is a really helpful and well-organized primer on assisting adolescents with their feelings of anger. Your descriptions of what is behind adolescent anger and techniques in dealing with it both for adults and for adolescents themselves are superb and wonderfully helpful.  The need to understand teenagers – to really listen – is so important and you were able to make such a case for that.  Your suggestions for parents, professionals and other adolescents are so important.  It is clear that you really have something to bring to this area and that you have enormous experience in making that work.  Congratulations!  It is a superb book, one that clearly will be useful to multiple audiences.   I even loved how the cover looks.

Susan Blumenfield, DSW

19

February
2011

Young People’s Perspective On The Tragedy in Tucson as they were asked the question:

“ What would you do to prevent something like this from happening to other young people?”


MZ-19- Mohegan Lake, N.Y,
thought for a minute and said that the quote, “ I wouldn’t say a single word to them. I would listen to what they had to say, and that ‘s something no one did” taken from an interview with Marilyn Manson, (punk rock singer, someone who many feel records songs that lead to violence, etc.), made in response to the question, ” If you were to talk directly to the kids at Columbine or the people in that community, what would you say to them if they were here right now?” was “a good thought.”


KD-17-Bronx, N.Y.
“If he had somebody to talk to, who he could trust, is something this young man felt may have prevented Jared Lee Loughner from shooting the congresswoman and the other innocent bystanders. When asked, What do you think anybody going through any of the stages he went through (girlfriend breaking up, dropping out of high school, getting into drugs, dissatisfaction with the government, having his question unanswered by Congresswoman Giffords), would prevent another person, not him, from really going off the deep end?” This young man replied, “A way to prevent that would be talking to somebody, before in your mind you speak to yourself, maybe you should express how you feel to somebody before you go ahead and take actions on your own”. When interviewer tried to sum up this young man’s opinion by relating that if he, a person had someone to speak to, who really listened, he had someone to really talk to this kind of stuff wouldn’t happen. To which KD replied, “Because he would have felt better after talking to somebody. That person might have calmed him down and spoken to him and guided him down the right path”.


JT-20-Long Island, N.Y.
-Early intervention, for this young woman was the key for preventing this kind of reaction from taking place in other young people. Her comment was “If you know someone and see they are distraught over something and may start down a bad path, that’s when you start intervening.”  In response to the question asking if you were someone’s friend what would you do, she described that a friend who might see someone unable to think properly, and if this kind of situation continued and seemed to be getting worse, she expressed the need for seeking professional help for that person. Regarding others who should get involved in a situation where someone is dropping out of school or seems really upset, this college student also felt that the administration of the school should get involved and try doing some kind of follow up.


KF-28-Brooklyn, N.Y.
This young man felt the route to, preventing such behavior from occurring or reoccurring rested in education.  He described having the system, (educational) being responsible for providing “ Tactics” or giving different kinds of information to parents. KF spoke of giving parents a better angle or perception of situations and signs to look for in high school or middle school students who may be dropping out. In other words, as this young man put it, “Catch signs of an unhappy or unstable person.” He also mentioned community centers and recreational centers being available to give youth places to go, giving them outlets so that they don’t go in a negative direction where they would end up doing something destructive. He also expressed the idea that laws should not be changed but, in his words, “Changing society itself” To him this meant people becoming more comfortable with themselves. This would involve society making changes that aren’t seen on paper, like laws, These would involve reaching out more to the youth.  He continued, seeing major cuts in education as not the way to go, adding  “These things are more likely to happen in uneducated people” He continued to describe that these days often both parents have to work, leaving no one there for kids when they get home. He added that because of this fact in today’s world it is easier for youth to go towards their friends, who are there and often do the wrong thing, engaging in negative activities, “Sometimes”, he pointed out,  “Young people go to others, who are not their friends, but who they think are cool.” The idea of positive peers was also mentioned to this student. He related having peer mentoring and peer conflict resolution when he went to public school, but he thought these have also are no longer there because of cuts, to which he added, “It comes down to dollars and cents and politics”.  Another point that KF made was that young people need to seek the right kind of help when they are thinking so many difficult (confusing) thoughts, and that they need to get these ideas out to someone who could help them understand what they were thinking before they became things that they did. In other words, act on negative thoughts.

At a point during this interview this young man also saw that admittedly its really helpful for people to catch early signs of destructive behavior, but also recognized that some people and incidents occur because some people, whether they go to Harvard or other places are just unstable, without anyone able to guess that this was the way they would act.


JS-21-Piermont, N.Y.
This young woman thought the way to prevent terrible acts of violence was through early intervention. One thing she related was that a person may be helped within the school district before he/she reaches the point of dropping out.  The first people she described that should be involved in early intervention should be parents. They should be aware of the direction their child is taking or thinking of going, for example thoughts of dropping out, as well as being aware of their needs. Schools should be aware of violent behavior in class, or if students’ grades are dropping significantly. Observation by parents, schools and teachers is something JS felt strongly about. She also felt teachers should also be aware that grades are dropping or a student is not going to class regularly. Teachers are the ones that could these students aside and try to find out what was going on, looking possibly to referring them to someone to help, like counselors. She added, the fact that teachers see the children every day, and that young people spend a good part of their day in school.  She also added that many times kids behave well in the home and act out in school or vice versa.  These are things that are often not known by school staff or the family. During the course of the interview JS was also asked, “What could friends do?” She responded by relating that a friend is, “ Hard pressed to help the another young person get counseling services” What she thought she could do as a friend was to listen to the other person, something she feels is really important and hear what a person has to say, adding, “Not so much giving advice” She then recommended going with them, if the friend thought it was something they were willing to do, in some cases, walking or driving a friend to a counselor’s office. She also described suggesting to friends who are going through something really difficult to write things down. JS remarked, “When something significant happens, write it down, because you don’t keep it in your head and are able write it down, look at it from different angles” This, she added,  “Calms your mind, because you see it on paper. On paper you may also be able to let go of it .T his way you don’t’ have to keep all your thoughts in your head”.

23

January
2011

You have a problem and want to talk about it with another person. All that you want from the other person is for them to listen to you. However, they keep giving you advice and try to help you to solve your problem. You get more frustrated and don’t listen to what they are telling you to do. This person becomes angry with you because you are not going to follow their advice. What do you do? PF-New City, N.Y.

This is a really common situation to many people of all ages. Before beginning to tell this other person about the problem you are having, tell them straight out that all you want from this person is for them to listen to you. It is what you need and want at this point. This is something teens related to me as a high school guidance counselor remarking, “All I want is my mother to listen to me. I don’t want her advice.”

Another way to handle this situation is to cut the other person off when they are trying to give you advice or criticize you, and tell them that all you want from them is to get what’s bothering you off your chest.

The same is true when someone comes to you with their problem. When they come to you, ask them whether they want your opinion or advice, or just want you to listen to what they have to say.

Letting people know directly what you want from them is a great way of being able to really feel comfortable talking to others and having them feel easy about talking with you. It also prevents misunderstanding and allows you both to speak freely without receiving unwanted advice or criticism.

If you have questions about situations or people in your lives and would like some ideas about dealing with them feel free to send them to, peacefulyouth422@yahoo.com.

23

January
2011

How do you deal with people who won’t listen to what you have to say even if you know what you are telling them is good for them? GB-Rye, N.Y.

If someone doesn’t want to hear what you have to say or listen to your advice, just leave it be. The only thing that you can do is accept that the other person’s way of thinking is different from yours and they aren’t interested in hearing other ideas. Pushing your beliefs or ideas on others does nothing for your relationship with them except make things more difficult between you and they. Accepting the way the other individual thinks or believes about something says to them, “I respect your thinking. It may be different from the way I think or feel, but it’s okay. This shows respect for the other person and will go along way toward keeping your relationship with them secure.


© 2011 Peaceful Route